Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
