I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
