Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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