before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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