turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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