I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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