I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Someone signed my nipple.
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