Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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