just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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