I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
