just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
