At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
