K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
