wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
