kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
