i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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