do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
