Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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