the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
3 2 1 whiskey
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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