i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
