"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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