people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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