I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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