is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
