he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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