do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
