that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
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I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
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I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We smell like vodka and hangover
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