I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize