I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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