Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
