You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
