would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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