hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
