Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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