very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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