I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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