Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
