i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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