I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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