At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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