I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize