Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
