Banned from zoo.
Again?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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