Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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