I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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