Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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