i permit you to call me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
