i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
