So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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