how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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