just tell him i said nine months
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
