I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
