Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
