this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize