Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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