I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
