Dude my mom stole all your condoms
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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