i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
