You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
