Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
