Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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