Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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