Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
