All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
