Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Someone signed my nipple.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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